


Welcome to the family

by aurora_denian



Series: Electric Green [9]
Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Dinner, Engagement, Family, Multi, Paperwork, Secret Marriage, Therapy, There's a form for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 09:30:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_denian/pseuds/aurora_denian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, it was Thor's idea to do the whole dinner thing, so everything that happened could really be blamed on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to the family

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I had this so close to done a while ago. Then I accidently kicked out the plug on my computer and lost the last five pages. I was so mad, and since then I've been working to slowly recapture what I had. I still don't like it, even after the past couple of weeks working on it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading and there should be two more pieces uploaded next week, as long as nothing else goes wrong.

Darcy had seen a lot of funny things in her life, but watching her five foot seven cousin flip the God of Mischief himself had to take the cake. Her laughter had apparently drawn their attention because Clem's head snapped up, a smile breaking out on her face as she jogged across the gym. “Darcy!” she shouted, pulling the other woman into a fierce hug. “It's been forever!”

 

“It's only been a few weeks, Clem!” Darcy laughed as she pulled back, glade she had shed her suite jacket. She could handle it smelling like her own sweat, but smelling like another person's was pushing it. Clem frowned for a moment before looking over her shoulder, glaring at the alien slowly pulling himself to his feet.

 

“I told you time would move differently where we were, Clementine.” Loki drawled as he came to a stop next to her. Clem glared for a moment more, something passing between them because she deflated in the span of a second. Snorting she bumped her hip against his before turning back to Darcy.

 

“Wait,” Darcy said, mind trying to play catch up. “How long has it been for you two?”

 

They shared another long look before a small smile curled on both of their lips. “Long enough.” Clem supplied, laying her head against Loki's shoulder while his arms curled around her waist, pulling her closer.

 

“Ok,” Darcy said, dragging out the word as she continued to stare. Shaking herself out of it she focused back on the task at hand. “Anyway, Thor wants to throw this dinner thing. You two are required to be there. It's sort of a 'welcome to the family' thing.”

 

Loki scowled but Clem nodded. “When is it?” she asked, slipping a phone out of her pocket.

 

“Tonight.” Darcy answered. At Clem's lifted brow Darcy shrugged. “You haven't been answering your phone. I only tracked you down because I've had JARVIS monitoring the CCTV for any sign of you.” This time the glare took longer to dissipate. “Anyway, it's at seven tonight, at the Tower. The front desk will have your badges. Don't,” She pointed at Loki. “Just poof into the penthouse. Tony just redecorated, and he'll go ape shit if there's a Hulk related incident tonight.”

 

“I'll keep him in line.” Clem promised, a soft smile playing on her lips.

 

“Good.” Darcy said, nodding her head, and silently praying that she actually would. “With any luck this'll get Thor to stop going on about mun-der, and hymen vlagia.”

 

Loki looked like she'd just hit him in the balls with a two by four as soon as the words lefter her mouth. Coughing slightly he seemed to recover quickly. “Mundr, and Heimanflygja.” he corrected, his lips puckering like he'd just swallowed a lemon.

 

Clem looked between them for a moment before grabbing Loki's hand. “Well, we'll see you tonight, Darce.” she tossed over her shoulder as she pulled Loki towards what Darcy assumed was the locker room. Knowing Clem though, it was just as likely to be a supply closet. Shaking her head she headed out of the gym. With any luck tonight wouldn't end with the national guard being deployed.

 

At six thirty that night everything was still going according to plan. The Avengers, plus significant others where applicable, were all in the Tower, and the first half of the food had just arrived. Spreading out the assortment of fruit, breads, and other finger foods she contemplated how she was going to get it all to the dinning room.

 

“Need a hand?” Smiling Darcy nodded, not looking up from her work. Heavy boot steps filled the silence for a few seconds before she felt a hand slide to the small of her back. “Hey.” James whispered before leaning down to give her a peck on the lips.

 

“Hey.” she returned, her smile growing. “Didn't know if you were going to be able to make it.”

 

James shrugged. “Atlanta got pushed back to the first of next week.” he explained as he started to pick up trays. “Should only take a day or two.”

 

“You mean we might actually get to spend some time together?” she joked as she headed out of the kitchen and towards the dinning room.

 

“Maybe.” James joked back. Laughing Darcy set down the platters on the table, turning around to wrap her arms around his waist.

 

“Well then. If it's only a maybe, _maybe_ I won't dig out the present I got you.” she teased, batting her eyelashes playfully up at him.

 

“Present, huh?” he asked, leaning down to give her a kiss.

 

“Unugh.” Darcy said, moving out of his reach. “I only kiss men who can _definitely_ spend time with me.”

 

“Been spending a lot of time with other men while I've been playing SHIELD's errand boy?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. Darcy wanted to joke, make something up to press his buttons, but she knew what that look meant. She'd seen it before, early in their relationship, and some in the months since the big secret purge.

 

So instead she stepped forward, looping her arms around his neck. “Only got my eye on one man.” she told him softly, reaching up to give him a lingering kiss. “Kinda convenient that he only has his eye on me too.”

 

James laid his hand against where her ring was setting, dangling from her necklace right next to Clem's charm. “We're going to have to tell them soon.” he said, resting his forehead against her's.

 

Pulling him closer she breathed in the smell of him. Warm metal, and clean cotton with just a hint of sandalwood from the shampoo he always used. Closing her eyes she grounded herself for a moment. “If nobody dies tonight, we tell them.” she promised, giving him another kiss. Nodding he pulled back, heading out of the room. Taking a deep breath she followed.

 

“Bucky!” They were on their third trip, this time thankfully being the last till the main dishes arrived in an hour or so, when Steve's voice rang out in the hall way. They both turned to see the super soldier walking towards them quickly.

 

“Hey, Cap.” James greeted as the other man pulled him into a quick, and manly, hug. Watching them together Darcy felt like she got to see a little bit of who James used to be, before Red Room, before the war. It made her heart hurt a little bit to think about what he had lost, but at the same time she knew with out all of that stuff, he wouldn't be with her today.

 

As the two men pulled apart Steve nodded in her direction, smiling. “Hey, Steve.” she greeted with a wave. “We were just setting up for dinner.” She lifted the trays in her hand a little bit before nodding her head towards the dinning room.

 

“Oh! Here let me help.” Before Darcy could protest he'd lifted the trays out of her hands and was already walking into the room.

 

“Thanks.” If she was honest she felt a little put out by that. He could have easily carried all of the trays, but he'd only grabbed the ones out of her hands. Chivalry could go fuck itself, she spent too much of her life dealing with backwards assholes who looked down at her because she was a girl. She bite the inside of her lip to keep her anger in check, it wasn't really Steve's fault, she was just feeling stressed, and the little things were always the ones to set her off.

 

Before she could start micro-orginizing everything JARVIS' voice broke in. “Miss Lewis, the reception desk would like me to inform you that the guests have arrived.”

 

“Thanks, Jar!” she called, situating a few more things before heading towards the door. “You two make sure everybody gets their ass to the living room!” Not looking back she made her way downstairs to get their guests.

 

The elevator ride up was a bit awkward, but Darcy was at least grateful that Loki hadn't shown up in complete Asgardian garb. It was a little weird seeing him wearing a button up and jeans, but she was counting every small favor she could get.

 

Almost as soon as the doors opened Thor's booming voice echoed throughout the living room. “Brother!” he called, crossing the room in a matter of steps to pull Loki into a fierce hug that looked a little painful for the God of Mischief. Clem seemed one step away from laughing, which could only mean it was okay.

 

Once both feet were on the floor again Loki straightened himself. “Thor.” he drawled, eyes sharp as he stared at the other man. A sharp jab in the side from Clem forced a sigh out of him. “Thank you for your invitation to dine with you this evening.”

 

“We brought wine.” Clem said, smiling broadly as she held up a large canvas tote bag. Glancing inside Darcy quickly counted at least eight bottles.

 

“I'll put it in the fidge. To chill.” she said quickly, snapping up the bag. The longer she could prolong the drinking, the more time she had till this disintegrated into a drunken brawl. When she returned to the living room Clem was lounging on one of the oversized couches, Loki setting stiffly beside her. She was about to start herding everyone into the dinning room when the elevator opened again.

 

“Sorry we're late.” Coulson said, his face in bland agent mode. Darcy noticed the swift glance in Loki's direction before he tugged Clint into the room. “There was a...complication in the shooting range.”

 

“That's alright.” Darcy offered, plastering a large smile on her face. “I was just about to let everyone know dinner was waiting on us in the dinning room.” Coulson nodded once before starting to drag the archer into the other room. Watching as everyone made their way Darcy noticed Clem held back, eyes looking at her questioningly. Pulling her close she whispered in her ear, “Loki brainwashed Clint during that whole failed invasion thing, which lead to Coulson almost dieing. In fact he thought Coulson _was_ dead for a few months.”

 

“Got it.” Clem whispered back, giving a stilted nod. “Anybody else he's tried to kill that I should know about?”

 

“All of them. Some more indirectly then others. Almost killed me a few times too.” Clem's resigned face bit at her heart. She knew her cousin wanted to think the best of the man she was, well, Darcy really wasn't sure _what_ they were doing, but she also knew Clem would never forgive her if she flat out lied to her. Squaring her shoulders she pulled Clem into the dinning room.

 

No body talked for a solid twenty minutes, Darcy knew, she'd checked her watch. Picking at her food she looked around at the faces of her friends, and now family, waiting for something to go wrong. It did a few seconds later when Clem gave a long suffering sigh, setting down her fork with a loud clank. “This is ridiculous.” she scoffed, turning to look at Loki. “Apologize.”

 

The Asgardian narrowed his gaze. “No.” he said shortly. When she continued to stare at him he crossed his arms, glaring harder. “I refuse, and you cannot make me.” Darcy felt her jaw loosen when she realized exactly what he was doing. He was  _pouting_ . Pouting like a scolded child.

 

Turning more in her seat Clem tilted her head to the side. “This,” she pointed between him and the room. “This is exactly what Dr. Jacobson was talking about. Your constant need to isolate people and then lash out at them because you don't feel like you are receiving the attention you deserve.” Laying her hand over one of his she gave it a squeeze. “You had a shity childhood, you made some mistakes. Stop wallowing, and for fucks sake just apologize. We all know you were in the wrong about trying to conquer Earth, including you. Now tell them you're sorry.”

 

He stared for a moment longer before sighing and giving her hand an affectionate squeeze. “I,” he started only to be cut of by Clem jerking her head slightly. Turning in his seat to look at the entire room his shoulders dropped slightly. “I am sorry for any harm my action brought upon you during my attempt to conquer your realm, and the time I attempted to kill Thor and take the throne. I will endeavor in the future not to do so again.”

 

He shot a small look at Clem, who nodded as she smiled brightly. “Now, that wasn't so hard was it?” she asked before going back to eating. Everyone stared at the pair, obviously not knowing how to react. “So, is that James?” Darcy coughed on the sip of water she'd just taken, eyes widening as Clem looked at her over her own water glass. “What? My relationship's on display, yours might as well be too.”

 

Darcy glanced at the man next to her out of the corner of her eye, watching his shoulders twitch ever so slightly. “His name is Agent James Barnes, he is a work associate, and a friend of Steve's.” she answered smoothly. Clem lifted a brow, staring her down. Darcy refused to break, her relationship wasn't why they were here, and she'd never discussed it with anyone in full detail except for the man in question. Taking a small bite of food to calm her nerves she went into self preservation mode. “I think we should really be talking about planing your wedding though.”

 

Clem looked honestly confused. “What wedding?” she asked, looking between her cousin and the man next to her. “Did you propose and I wasn't aware of it?”

 

Thor, please his heart, didn't seem to realize how the words that came out of his mouth next were going to take the situation from frigid to thermonuclear. “By Asgardian tradition he stated his intent for marriage when the Lady Darcy approved of his bedding of you, and you allowed it.” he explained, his voice sounding like it was booming in the suddenly too close room.

 

Clem turned in her chair with such speed Darcy thought she'd get motion sickness. The glare she leveled on Loki a second later probably would have reduced a lesser man to tears, but Loki wasn't just any guy Clem had fucked over the years. “Are you telling me we've been engaged, according to your culture, this entire time?” she seethed, blue eyes looking like ice chips. When Loki gave a resigned nod Clem was up and out of her seat, Bruce wincing slightly as it hit the floor. “And you didn't think that this was something important to tell me?”

 

“There never seemed to be an appropriate time.” he answered, voice low, and just a bit soothing, like he was dealing with a skittish animal. Which Darcy sort of supposed she was. Nobody backed Clementine Lewis in a corner without getting bit.

 

“There never seemed to be an appropriate time? Really?” she practically screamed. “Two and a half fucking years, and you never thought to say, 'hey, by the way, on my planet, when you bone, and your family doesn't flip their shit, it kinda means we're getting married'?”

 

“I,” Loki hesitated, using standing to hide the fact that he was moving the cutlery out of her immediate grasp. “I suppose I should have mentioned it. However, I am also aware that in your culture that is not the way in which things are done.” He gave a little shrug. “If I ever reconciled with my family, I was going to use the excuse that we had a long engagement to overcome cultural differences.”

 

Clem deflated slightly, though her expression was still cold. “You should have told me.” she whispered, looking down. “I'm just disappointed.” Loki went absolutely still at her words, shoulders tensing. Without another word she retook her seat and began eating again, Loki following in her example.

 

The minutes ticked by, no one really sure what to do now. “Jane Foster.” Loki said, not looking up from his food.

 

Jane's head shoot up, her eyes wide. “Ugh, yeah, um, yes?” she stuttered out, clearing blindsided by Loki's sudden attention.

 

Taking a long drink of water he glanced at her, setting aside his glass in a deliberate manner. “I approve of your copulation with my brother.” Nodding, he turned towards Thor. “We are now even.” Jane and Thor both gaped at him, but Loki ignored them returning his attention to his food.

 

“Anybody else getting engaged tonight?” Tony sarcastically remarked, taking along drink of his scotch.

 

“Already married.” four voices spoke over each other. Darcy sighed, pulling out the brief case she'd stashed under her seat for just such an occasion.

 

“Pass around, sign where marked, and then pass back.” she instructed, passing a stack in each direction. “Everyone needs to fill out two, I have pens. Please give them back when you're done.” No one argued, quietly scribbling away on the papers. Once everything was back in hand Darcy looked over it all with a nod before filing it away. Putting her case away she stood. “So, who would like dessert?”

 

After the assorted treats and hot beverages were taken care of the table once again settled into silence. Sipping thoughtfully at her coffee Clem looked at the people surrounding her. “I've been rude.” she said after a minute, taking another long sip. Everyone stopped to look at her like she was crazy. “I mean, I met some of you when I visited last time, but some of you I haven't. I should have introduced myself, I'm sorry.” Setting aside her mug she turned towards Coulson. “Clementine Lewis.”

 

“Phil Coulson.” he responded, a bland little smile playing on his lips. Laying a hand over Clint's he gave it a subtle squeeze. “I believe you met my husband, Clint, the last time you visited.”

 

Smiling brightly Clem nodded. “I did! It's very nice to meet you, and of course to see you again Clint.” Clint just offered a tense little smile, obviously still not liking the idea of Loki being in the tower, forced apology or not. Coulson for his part just gave a polite nod before returning to his piece of cake. Shifting slightly in her seat she turned to the next pair. “Natasha and...Bruce, right?”

 

Bruce gave a nod. “Yes. Or, well, we answer to Agent Romanov and Dr. Banner too.” he answered with a small smile, Natasha giving a terse nod as she sipped at her coffee.

 

Clem smiled just as brightly at them. “Yes, I remember! You earned your PhD studying gamma radiation, if I remember correctly, Dr. Banner.” she said, making polite conversation.

 

Bruce nodded. “That is correct.” Pushing aside his plate he gave her a considering look. “I thought that the last time you visited Darcy mentioned that you had studied the classics, not physics.”

 

“No, I did.” she answered, taking a bite of pie. “My college girlfriend was a double major, Physics and Engineering. She raved about your work for weeks after you released that paper back in '02.”

 

“Aw.” he said, polite smile still on his lips even though he seemed like he was expecting a different answer.

 

“I just have to ask though.” she said after a minute, leaning forward. Bruce lifted an eyebrow in question, waiting for her to continue. “I've pretty much figured out who all of the rest of the Avengers are, but you, you I have no idea.”

 

“I would assume that it would be obvious.” he said after a moment. “Your taste in men aside, I was under the impression that you were a smart and resourceful young woman.” Clem tapped her chin thoughtfully before shrugging and shaking her head. “I believe the media refers to me as 'The Hulk'.”

Loki stiffened, eyes widening as he looked at the scientist across the table from him. “Hello, puny god.” Bruce waved, a cruel little smile curving on his lips as he watched Loki break out into a sweat.

 

“Huh.” Clem said after a minute, glancing at Loki out of the corner of her eye. “Looking at him now, I'm not sure if the twelve thousand dollars spent on therapy was too much, or too little.” Loki glared at her, but remained quiet.

 

“He went through therapy?” Natasha asked, voice casual.

 

“Yea.” Clem answered for Loki, who seemed more interested in his stack of sweets then answering her. “Three times a week for the last year and a half.”

 

Natasha's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at the other woman. “We met you seventeen days ago.” she said, voice holding just the hint of a question.

 

“It's complicated.” Clem answered with a shrug. “Really I'd thought it had been longer then a few days for you guys too, till Darcy said otherwise.” Natasha nodded, obviously done with the conversation. “Good seeing you two again!” They both nodded, and if Darcy's eyes weren't deceiving her, she thought they might be holding hands under the table.

 

“If you don't know who I am, I'm going to have to ask if you've been living under a rock for the last couple of decades.” Tony said, making his way through his second glass of scotch.

 

Clem played like she was contemplating it for a few seconds before snapping her fingers. “I know! Bill Gates!” she exclaimed, and utterly elated look on her face, like she'd just cured cancer or won the lottery. Steve's snort was met with a glare from Tony. Laughing Clem held up her hands. “Just kidding. I haven't even been living in this country for the past few years and I can recognize that douche stash.”

 

Steve looked confused, glancing at Tony for clarification. “No Steve, that doesn't mean what you probably think it does.” Tony answered the unspoken question. Tony looked Clem up and down, obviously assessing her. “You've got metaphorical balls, I'll give you that. I'd say it was a family trait, but that seems kind of insensitive.”

 

Clem shrugged nonchalantly. “This type of BAMPHness is learned, not inherited.” she quipped. “Nice to see you again, Steve.”

 

“It's nice to see you too, Miss Lewis.” he said with a sincere smile.

 

Clem blanched, scrunching up her nose. “Just Clem. Calling me Miss Lewis just feels wrong.”

 

“Clem then.” Steve amended, still smiling. Clem sent him a large smile before turning to Thor, and Jane.

 

“Jane Foster, Thor, it's nice to finally meet you both. Darcy and Loki have told me a lot about you both.” she offered, keeping the smile on her lips, though Darcy could tell it was slightly more forced then it had been when she'd been talking to the rest of the table.

 

“I am honored to meet you as well, sister!” Thor gushed, his smile looking impossibly large even on his broad face.

 

“Nice to meet you.” Jane mumbled, obviously uncomfortable with the situation as a whole. Darcy could sympathize, but Jane really should have expected some of this to happen.

 

“I hope we get to know each other better in the future. We're going to be family after all.” The last part was said with a sardonic little smile.

 

Jane seemed to catch it, but Thor just kept grinning. “Indeed! You are a welcome addition to our family.” he exclaimed.

 

Finally Clem turned to the last person sitting at the table. Giving him the once over she pursed her lips. “I'm going to assume I don't have to give you the shovel talk, you seem smart.” she said after a moment. Leaning back in her chair she stared him straight in the eye, almost daring him to say something.

 

“I have already received the familial warning.” James said, voice steady and eyes clear.

 

Clem's face broke out in another grin. “Good. I hate getting mud out of clothes.” James just nodded, hand slipping under the table to hold onto Darcy's.

 

Feeling some of her confidence returning Darcy gave an indignant snort. “If you get to give the talk, then so do I.” she challenged. Clem looked at her for a moment before waving a hand in Loki's direction. Glaring at the god Darcy tried to pore everything into one look straight in his eyes. “If you hurt her, in anyway, I will let Bruce use you to play football till he gets bored, then hand you over to Clint to do what ever he wants. Then,” she leaned forward dropping her voice into a growl. “Then, I'll personally castrate you and have Tony bronze your balls so that I can keep them as a trophy.”

 

Loki gave her a long look before nodding. “Agreed.” he drawled before turning to look at Clem. “Are you satisfied yet?”

 

Clem gave him a long look before nodding. “Yes, I forgive you.” she said, leaning over to give him a peck on the lips. “And yes, I will marry you.” Loki just nodded turning back to his food. “Well, now that that's settled, what should we do after dinner?” No one answered.

 

 

After everyone had finally been shaken out of their stupor and helped to clean up the mess they sort of dispersed. Darcy could understand, emotions had been running high all night and everyone needed to decompress a little bit. Natasha and Bruce had left the Tower to parts unknown, as had Clint and Coulson, but Darcy wasn't expecting anything different from either couple. Tony had disappeared down to his workshop leaving Steve in the kitchen talking quietly to James. She honestly had no idea where Jane had gone, but Thor had strong armed Loki into talking with him privately, which Darcy could only pray didn't end in property damage.

 

Holding two glasses of wine she made her way out to the balcony, handing one off to Clem who was already leaning against the railing. “I honestly expected that to go much worse.” Darcy said, taking a long sip from her glass.

 

Clem snorted, shaking her head as she looked out over Midtown. “I guess it depends on your definition.” she quipped, taking a gulp. “I'm _engaged_.”

 

“Could be worse.” Clem just lifted an eyebrow, daring her to continue. Leaning against the railing Darcy looked over the city. “You could have always ended up an old maid like Carolina always said you would.”

 

“ _Carolina_.” Clem sneered the name. “Is on child number four with no partner in sight. I'm a modern kind of woman, but even I think four kids with four different fathers is pushing it a little bit.” Darcy couldn't argue with that. Carolina had gotten pregnant before Darcy had even started at Culver, and almost a decade later she worked her way through a steady of stream of commitment phobic, unemployed losers. Darcy thought it was a stroke of luck only four of them had managed to make a deposit, so to speak. “You tell the others yet?” At Darcy's confused look Clem reached out and grabbed her ring, holding it up between them. “I'd recognize your Gran's ring anywhere. When did that happen?”

 

Darcy took the ring from between Clem's fingertips, holding it out so that she could look at it. “Right after the whole Loki thing.” she answered taking a long drink “You know, I never did figure out why he was trying to kidnap me of all people.”

 

“Oh,” Clem started, downing the rest of her glass. Darcy didn't even bat an eye, just filled up her offered glass, before topping off her own. “Apparently he thought he could torture information out of you about the Avengers, then dangle your corpse in front of them as a trophy. That is, if they hadn't come barreling in, in which case he was going to use you as a human shield.”

 

Darcy just shook her head. “Seriously what do you see in the guy? He's a psychotic, megalomaniac with daddy issues, and a desperate need for a Xanax.” she said, shaking her head.

 

“Kinda like a ninety year old ex KGB assassin with a mechanical arm?” Clem asked, sipping away. Darcy just looked at her, brow lifted. “I'm good at reading between the lines.” Looking out over the city she shrugged. “That and I kinda eavesdropped on your boy and Captain America chatting in the kitchen.”

 

“Never change, Clem.” Darcy said, shaking her head. “Seriously, never change.”

 

“Why would I change?” she asked, emptying her glass again. “I'm perfection incarnate.”

 

Darcy tried hard to fight the giggles that threaded to bubble over. Instead of filling up Clem's glass again she handed off the bottle. Leaning heavily against the railing Darcy her gaze unfocused, taking in the lights of the city. “We're adults.” she said a moment later, her voice unbelieving. “I mean, look at us. Getting jobs, settling down. We're growing up. When the fuck did that happen?”

 

“Not a clue.” Clem snorted. “I thought we'd always be the fuck ups, floating through life, doing whatever we wanted.”

 

“Yea,” Darcy agreed, a slightly nostalgic smile playing on her lips. “We proved them wrong, huh?”

 

“I know right?” Clem laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Who knew that the one thing the cuzs would exceed expectations on it would be fucking up?”

 

Darcy snorted into her glass. “Not me, that's for damn sure.” she mumbled as she leaned heavily against the railing. It was the truth too. Clem and Darcy had always been the outsiders in the Lewis family not only because they were adopted, but because they had just been different from everybody else when it came to personality. Cantankerous, sarcastic, and witty, they had stuck out like sore thumbs in a family full of bright eyed, personable, if a bit dim, individuals.

 

“So,” Clem drawled after a minute, sending Darcy a leer. “Mechanical arm, huh?”

 

“Shut up.” Darcy snorted, giving her cousin a slight push.

 

Clem held up her hands, though the impact was lessened slightly but not only the leer still on her face, but the half empty bottle of wine she was still holding. “Just saying. That's gotta lead to all kinds of kinky implications.”

 

“I'm not talking about my sex life with you, Clem.” Darcy said, sighing dramatically. “I think we're both a little old for kiss and tell.”

 

“Fine.” she grumbled, turning back towards the city. “I'd tell you all about me and Loki.”

 

“Lalala.” Darcy chanted, putting her fingers in her ears. She knew it was juvenile but she could live without knowing what got the mischievous god's engine revving.

 

“Prude.” Clem taunted as she took another sip. “You know, you used to be more fun.”

 

“I'm still fun!” she cried, voice filled with indignation. “My idea of fun, however, does not include finding out Loki likes whatever kinky shit you've dreamed up this year.” She wasn't pouting at being called a prude, really she wasn't. She was anything but a prude, if the content of her bottom drawer was anything to go off by. A small smile crossed her face when she thought about the lingerie box that was tucked away in the particular drawer right now.

 

“Fine.” Clem said, lip jutted out in a full blown pout. “We won't talk about it anymore.”

 

“Thank you.” Darcy stated primly as she turned fully back to the city lights.

 

“Do his fingers vibrate?” Darcy absolutely did not do a spit take.

 

They stayed out on the balcony chatting, and slowly getting drunk off of their asses for the next hour. Someone softly clearing their throat drew their attention to the door. “Loki!” Clem cried racing across the balcony with more grace then someone two bottles in should have been able to have. Practically climbing him like a tree Clem pulled Loki down into a sloppy, though heated kiss. Pulling back she giggled before chirping “I'm drunk!”

 

Setting her down on the ground again Loki brushed her hair out of her face. “Indeed.” was his only response, a slight down turn to his lips.

 

Going to take a drink from her bottle Clem frowned when she found it empty. “I'm out of wine.” she pouted before shrugging and moving to toss it over her shoulder. Loki's hand on her wrist stopped her motion, taking the bottle in his own hand to stop her completely. Looking up at hims she grinned. “Let's go have sex.”

 

The god seemed slightly uncomfortable with her remark, and if Darcy wasn't imagining it there was a faint blush coloring the tips of his ears. Clearing his throat he blatantly ignored her statement, instead looping her arm through his. “I believe rest would be more beneficial given your current state.” he spoke softly moving them both towards the elevator.

 

Clem scowled up at him. “Fine, but if I sleep tonight, you don't get to say no to pegging tomorrow night.” she said hotly. Darcy could have lived the rest of her life without knowing that particular piece of information. They had just made it off the balcony when Clem came to a screeching halt. “We forgot to tell Darcy bye!” Not waiting for him to say anything she turned them both around and back towards Darcy. Letting go of Loki, Clem pulled Darcy into a bone crushing hug. “Love ya, Darce.”

 

Smiling into Clem's shoulder Darcy hugged her back. “Love you too, Clem.” she whispered, hugging her closely before pulling back. “Loki.” She nodded to him as she extracted Clem from her arms.

 

“Lewis.” he answered in kind, gently taking hold of Clem once more. Clem just let out a long yawn, waving slightly. Loki didn't head towards the elevator again, instead wrapping his arms tightly around Clem's waist after handing Darcy the empty wine bottle. In the blink of an eye they were both gone.

 

Taking a deep breath Darcy shook her head before placing the bottle on the floor and grabbing her own glass. Turning back to the city she sipped her now warm wine, trying to decompress. She let a little moan of pleasure escape her lips as an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against a very solid, and familiar chest. “Hey, handsome.” she greeted, tilting her head slightly to the side so that he could rest his chin against her shoulder.

 

“Hello, beautiful.” he greeted back, laying a kiss on her exposed shoulder. They stood there for a moment, just breathing before James pulled back, turning her so that he could pull her into a kiss. “Here.”

 

“Here?” Darcy echoed, brow crinkling as she pulled back further.

 

“Right here. October 31st.” he went on, pushing her hair out of her face. Darcy just kept looking up at him, even as she leaned into his palm.

 

“The day we met?” she asked, her brain trying to catch up with what that had to do with anything.

 

Smiling softly James leaned down to give her another kiss. “Three years to the day.” he said, still smiling.

 

Darcy felt her eyes widen as her mind finally caught up. He was talking about the wedding. Standing still for a moment she thought it over. “That gives us, what, a little over a year?” she asked, trying to quickly do the math in her head.

 

“Plenty of time to plan, move in together.” he offered, moving his hand from her cheek so that he could wrap his arms around her waist again.

 

“Oh, so we're moving in together now?” Darcy countered, a cheeky little smile forming on her lips. All joking aside her stomach did a little flip at those words. Marriage might seem like a big commitment to some, but the one that had tied up Darcy's insides for the last year was the one he had just casually mentioned.

 

James chuckled as he smiled down at her. “Well,” he drawled, pulling her even closer. “I am making an honest woman out of you.” The laughter in his eyes made her heart give a little leap. She loved seeing him like this, carefree, light. She knew that there was darkness deep down, things she would never understand, not fully anyway. Seeing him happy though, it made her happy to know that she could chase all of that away, if only for a few seconds at a time.

 

“Watch it.” she countered, her grin lessening the blow of the words. “I just might change my mind. Run off with some strapping young man.” Seeing his eyes dim just slightly she mentally winced. She really needed to stop putting her foot in her mouth every time she turned around. Instead she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, tilting her head to the side as she looked up at him, full blown grin on her face. “One who doesn't think the height of cinema was Judy Garland in a gingham dress.”

 

James let out a long suffering sigh as he mock glared down at her. “I like other movies you know.” he countered.

 

“Salome doesn't count.” Darcy said, exasperation working it's way into her voice. “You.” she loosened one arm so that she could point at him. “Just like looking at Rita Hayworth's boobs. I love you, babe, but setting through those god awful accents isn't worth the cleavage.”

 

“Right.” he snorted. “And how many times have I sat through Labyrinth?”

 

“That's a classic!” Darcy sputtered, even as a blush started to creep up her neck. Ok, so she had a girlhood infatuation with David Bowie, she wasn't the only girl in the world with that to their name.

 

“That” he playfully sneered the word as his hand found her lips. “Is a hundred plus minutes of me trying to ignore David Bowie's cod piece.” They glared at each other for a moment before both dissolved into laughter, open and honest.

 

Darcy's sides hurt by the time her laughter had worked itself into breathy little pants. Looking down at her James wiped away the tears that had leaked out of her eyes before pulling her into a kiss. Moving back a few minutes later Darcy looked up at him, suddenly unsure. “Are we really doing this?” she whispered, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

 

“Arguing about movies?” he asked, brow crinkling even as he kept smiling. “It's kind of our thing.”

 

Darcy shook her head, face suddenly serious. “No,” she whispered, hands still moving nervously through his hair. “Getting married.” Biting her bottom lip she pulled away, trying to stomp down on the impulse to start pacing. “I mean, I'm only twenty five! You’re only...” She broke off as his hand wrapped gently around her wrist.

 

Pulling her back into the circle of his arms he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let's just call it twenty nine.” he offered as he ran a hand up and down her arm.

 

Taking a deep breath Darcy let the motion calm her nerves. “So, are we really ready for this?” she finally asked, still biting her lip.

 

“Darcy,” James breathed, smiling down at her. “We've been together for almost two years now. By this point we've gone through just about everything I can think of that we possibly could. Even for our line of work.” Pulling her close he kissed her gently. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and barring that, I want to spend the rest of yours with you.”

 

His words stopped her breath for a moment. The one topic they had been ignoring for the last few months was now out in the open. “That's a real chance isn't it?” she whispered, fingers curling around his prosthetic arm as she stared straight ahead. Swallowing thickly she finally looked up, uncertainty shinning in her eyes. “Me dying, you still looking young.”

 

“The doctor's don't know.” he answered honestly. “The cellular regeneration has slowed down over the past few years, but...”

 

Nodding Darcy laid her head against his collar bone. “But they don't know.” she whispered. She already knew that. Coulson had given her privy to the file that they had on any and all known attempts at the super soldier serum, that included James.

 

“No.: he whispered back, running a hand through her hair. “Can you live with that?” It was a good question. Could she live with the fact that there was a chance that he could outlive her, not by months or years, but by decades.

 

“Yea.” she answered softly back, hand moving to rest of his heart. Looking up at him she forced a smile on her face. “The bigger question is can you? I mean, I get this hot piece of eye candy on my arm even if I'm like ninety. You're the one who's going to be married to the crypt keeper.” There was laughter in her voice, but it sounded hollow, even to her own ears. She needed to know if he was having any doubts.

 

Smiling down at her he gave a bark of laughter as he shook his head. “You'll never look like the crypt keeper.” he assured her, laying a hand against her cheek as he pulled her in for a quick kiss. “I have more then enough money to keep you well stocked in moisturizer.”

 

Snorting disbelievingly Darcy slapped him in the shoulder. This time when she smile up at him though, it felt more real. “You say the sweetest things.” she said, voice saccharine and sarcastic. Her smile tempered into something softer as she nodded. “I think I'm ready.”

 

Kissing her one more time he pressed his forehead against her's. “Me too.” he said, smiling down at her. “We're getting married.” Laughing softly she pulled him down for another kiss.

 

The mood was so utterly perfect that Darcy should have known that something was going to happen, the law of averages and all that. She heard the soft click a few seconds before the nerf arrow connected with the side of her head. “Clint!” she screamed, reaching up to pry the suction cup from her temple. Looking at it she noticed a small purple post it note attached to the side _**congratulations**_ scrawled in familiar script.Rolling her eyes she held it up for James to see. “He _so_ needs a hobby.” The next on hit the railing instead. _**My therapist says this counts**_. Giving an exasperated sigh she grabbed James' hand. “We should probably go tell the others before bird brain does.”

 

James just took her hand. “How does he even do that?” he asked, looking around for were the archer might be hiding.

 

Darcy shrugged. “No idea.” she answered. “Though I'm starting to suspect black magic and virgin sacrifice.” James stopped her, giving her a look before shaking his head. Laughing Darcy just bumped their shoulders together. “Come on. I've gotta convince Natasha to wear a bridesmaid dress.”

 


	2. Epilogue

Darcy hated being hungover. Not that she really thought anybody ever _liked_ being hungover, but still. The only thing she hated more then being hungover though, was a six am phone call on her day off while she was hung over. Groaning loudly Darcy rolled away from James to blindly grope for her phone. “Lewis.” she rasped into the phone, not ever bothering to lift her head off of her pillow.

 

“My office. Now.” Three words had never woken her up faster in her life.

 

“Yes sir.” she answered as she jumped up out of bed, and practically ran to the bathroom.

 

“You don't work today.” James mumbled from his pillow, still sprawled out on his stomach. Glancing at him as she slipped into her slacks from the day before she really wanted to do nothing except fall back into bed with him.

 

“Director one eye called.” she answered as she buttoned up her blouse. James turned his head to the side, giving her a look that probably would have been critical if he wasn't still half asleep. Smiling fondly she leaned down and kissed him. “Morning. Now go back to sleep. I'll be home before you know it.” James just groaned before nodding, head falling back onto his pillow. Smiling Darcy grabbed her heels and her purse before racing out the door.

 

The ominous black car waiting outside for her should have tipped her off that this wasn't going to be a quick reprimand and a bit of paperwork. Though at the time she was just happy not to have to do her hair and makeup on the train. The train ride would have given her more time to collect herself, because a short twenty minutes later the car had reached it's destination. Sliding into the elevator at central HQ she tried to keep her breathing even, though she probably did press on the thumbprint scan a little harder then necessary. The ding of the door happened faster then she would have liked, but the walk to the end of the hall took even less. Self consciously straightening her blouse outside the door she moved to knock only for a gruff, “Enter!” to stop her hand. Swallowing thickly she gathered all of her courage and did as order.

 

Fury was already seated behind his desk, a large stack of paperwork in front of him. “Sit.” he ordered, not even looking up from his paperwork. Not uttering a sound Darcy did as told, trying not to twitch as the seconds ticked away. Finally after what felt like hours he spoke again. “I am going to ask you a series of questions. You will confirm or deny. Am I clear?”

 

Darcy almost asked why but a quick one-eyed glare had her swallowing again. “Yes, sir.” she finally answered, holding herself up a little straighter. 

 

“Good.” he said, hard edge to his voice. “Now, was the war criminal known as Loki at the Avengers Tower last night?” Darcy was honestly caught for a moment. Technically Loki had been at the Tower, but not to cause mischief. “Yes or no, Agent Lewis.”

 

A thought filtered through her head a second later, one that would save a lot of asses. Biting the inside of her lip to keep from smiling she steadied herself. “No, sir.” she answered, straight faced.

 

Fury looked at her for a long moment before continuing. “Was your cousin, Clementine Lewis, at the Avengers Tower last night?” he asked, his voice even harder this time.

 

Fury was almost making this too easy for her. He either knew his wording was all wrong or he was getting sloppy in his old age. “No, sir.” she answered again, more of her confidence returning.

 

The glare was back again, though this time ten times more intense then it had been before. “So you are telling me that there is no possible way that Loki was at the Avengers Tower last night in the company of a woman matching the description of your cousin?” Darcy could practically see the steam rolling off of him as he asked the question.

 

“No, sir.” she answered, her voice even more calm then before.

 

Fury's eye started to twitch as he stared her down. “So you are saying that they were in fact there?” She almost wanted to laugh at the corner he had backed himself into. He should have known better, Darcy had learned her skill set by SHIELD's own faux android, and two of the Red Room's top agents. She couldn't handle torture for shit, but she could deflect like it was going out of style

 

Relaxing her shoulders Darcy leaned back in her chair slightly. “No, sir.” she answered, voice innocent sounding even to her own ear.

 

By this point she was pretty sure Fury was going to lose it, and she wasn't far off as she watched his hands clench. “Which is it, Lewis? Were they there or weren't they?” he bit out, his jaw twitching. Darcy just sat there in silence, staring at him till he yelled, “Answer!”

 

“I am only permitted to confirm or deny, sir. The question's wording did not allow for a definitive yes or no answer.” Darcy explained, tilting her head slightly as she stared him down.

 

Fury threw his pen to the side in frustration. “I give up!” he exclaimed before leaning over to press the comm button next to his computer. “Get your ass in here!” he screamed into the comm before returning his glare to her.

 

Darcy refused to turn to see who had entered the room, though the foot falls sounded vaguely familiar.

 

“Agent Lewis.” Coulson greeted calmly as he stopped to stand next to the director. Darcy just nodded in greeting, waiting for him to continue. There was no way she could out bluff Coulson, the man had a way of making everyone just offer up what he wanted just by how he worded his questions. “I'll continue in the director's place, if that's alright?” Darcy nodded, sinking down in her seat slightly. “Alright. Last evening we received intel that a man matching the description of the war criminal Loki was seen entering Stark Tower. Do you recall seeing a man matching the SHIELD issued description of Loki in the Tower last evening?”

 

Darcy almost opened her mouth to say yes, but her mind caught up just a little bit faster. The SHIELD issued description had included Loki's Asgardian clothes, and while there was a note in subsection 2a about the ability to change his clothing at will, that was not actually part of the actual SHIELD issued description. “No, sir.” she answered honestly, still keeping her shoulders slouched.

 

Coulson looked at her long and hard before nodding. “Very well. There was a female individual who entered the Tower as well. SHIELD has intel that she is your cousin, Clementine Lewis. Can you confirm that this woman,” Coulson slid a photo across the desk for her to look at. “Is in fact your cousin Clementine Lewis?” Darcy stared down at the photo, Clem's smiling face staring back at her. It was Clem for sure, but her name wasn't Clementine Lewis, and technically she wasn't her cousin. 

 

Darcy thought carefully before answering. There was no way Coulson didn't know that Clem had never officially changed her name from her Mom's maiden name, or that Uncle Rich had never technically adopted Clem. The first was on all of her records, and the second had been because her biodad had refused to sign over custody. “No, sir.” she finally answered, looking up at Coulson as though daring him to contradict her.

 

Coulson narrowed his gaze as he stared at her. “So you cannot confirm the identity of this woman?” he asked, voice a little harsher around the edges then normal.

 

“I can only say that this woman is not my cousin Clementine Lewis, sir.” she answered back, not even batting an eyelash.

 

Coulson stared at her for a moment before shifting his gaze to Fury, and lifting a brow. Fury stared back for a moment before sighing. “Alright, alright. So she can keep a fucking secret.” Fury grumbled, reaching in his desk drawer and pulling out a thick manilla folder. “I'm not happy about what happened last night, but I'll take a half assed promise not to destroy the world right now. We've got bigger fish to fry.” Tossing the folder on the table he gestured for Darcy to pick it up.

 

Flipping through the pages Darcy felt her brow crinckle in confusion. “Am I supposed to know what this is?” she asked after a moment.

 

“That,” Fury said, pointing at the folder. “It the collective works of Dr. Jane Foster, Dr. Eric Selvig, Dr. Bruce Banner, Dr. Reed Richards, and Tony Stark since the Chitauri invasion.” Standing he poured himself a drink before turning back around. “That Agent Lewis, is basically a DYI kit on how to build an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.”

 

“I don't understand.” Darcy said after a minute. “What does _this_ have to do with me?”

 

Fury nodded towards Coulson, the other man stepping forward. “Almost every name that the Director listed have one thing in common, they all trust you.” he explained, holding out a hand to take the folder.

 

Handing it off with out question Darcy just shook her head. “So what?” she asked, rising from her seat. “You want me to sabotage it or something? Sorry, get someone else to do your dirty work.” She crossed her arms, glaring them down, practically begging for one of them to try and make her.

 

“No, Agent Lewis.” Fury answered, retaking his seat. “What we want, is for you to continue to do your job. It just so happens that, that job now also includes making sure that a group of crazy ass scientists doesn't punch a hole in the fabric of the universe.”

 

“Why the test then?” she asked, letting her arms drop to her side.

 

“This assignment needs a level six clearance. In order to promote you, there needed to be a proficiency performance review.” Coulson explained, gesturing for her to place her fingertips on the touch pad imbedded in the director's desk. “And we don't want anyone to know what your doing.”

 

“Ok,” Darcy drawled, placing one hand then the other on the screen. “Subterfuge I understand, kinda the name of the game around here, but this seems like way more precaution then what really needed for something only only like eight people are even going to know about.”

 

“Normally I would say there's never such a thing as too much precaution.” Fury said, pulling out another folder and handing it off to Darcy. “This time though, we have justification.”

 

Sending him a look Darcy picked up the folder, flipping to the first page. “You've gotta be fucking kidding me!” she exclaimed, jaw suddenly lax.

 

Coulson and Fury shared a look before turning back to stare at her. “I assure you, Agent Lewis, I am not 'fucking kidding' you.” Fury quipped. “You in, or out.”

 

Smirking Darcy tossed the folder back on the desk. “Oh, I am definitely in, sir.”

 

“Good.” he said, picking up his pen again. “Now get the fuck out of my office before your fiancee thinks I kidnapped you or something. You too, Coulson.”

 

Twin “Yes, sir”s echoed throughout the office before the only sounds were hurried footsteps, and a closing door. Shaking his head Fury trained his eye in on the task in front of him. Maybe if he was lucky the next world ending catastrophe would wait till he'd already filed the paperwork from the last one.

**Author's Note:**

> I took some liberty with cannon towards the end, but that's mostly because of the foreshadowing in Captain America. We'll all find out next year, though. Well, if the studio actually releases on time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and I should have more in a few days.


End file.
